Remember that not all these ideas will be right for you – you will use this list to help you build your own Personal Safety Plan. You may choose some of these actions, and/or you may think of some that aren’t here.
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss plans and alternatives with someone you trust. Be honest with yourself about the possible risks and think carefully about your boundaries.
- If you have to communicate with your abusive ex-partner, carefully determine the safest way to do so. You may want to have a 3rd party present, you may want to meet in a public place, you may need to prepare your boundaries in your mind beforehand, you may need to remind yourself to not engage in button-pushing.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.
- Plan to attend a support group to gain support from others and learn about the law and your rights.
- Decide who you can call to give you the support you need, when you need it.
- Read self-help books and educational articles to give you tools for managing your life, and to increase your understanding of your situation and your reactions to it.
- Seek resources and pamphlets concerning woman abuse/domestic violence/sexual assault/historical assault/criminal harassment/victimization.
- Attend counseling sessions with counselors trained in domestic violence.
- Become involved in community activities (attend openings, fairs, markets, festivals) to reduce isolation.
- Do volunteer work where others can benefit from your energy.
- Get a part time or fulltime job.
- Enroll in school or courses which will help to build self-esteem as well as contribute to job possibilities.
- Take part in social activities (movies, dinner, exercise, etc) with other people.
- Take care of sleep and nutritional needs every day – consciously think these things through.
- Have a doctor that you trust and can confide in – make sure your health has been attended to, medications can be effective in managing depression and/or anxiety for a short period of time if you and your doctor think this is appropriate for you.
- Take time to prepare yourself before going into stressful situations like meeting with lawyers or attending court, by planning ways to stay calm and stay centered.
- Explore ways to reduce stress – for example book only one appointment per day.
- Avoid excessive shopping and impulse buying.
- Do not use alcohol, drugs or food excessively – it will increase depression.
- Join a health club or an exercise program
- Keep a personal journal to record your feelings in – keep it in a safe place and plan to burn it later
- Do things that make you happy. Plan them into your day.
- Remember that you are the most important person to take care of right now and it is ok to say no to other people’s demands and requests.
- Get a cat or dog – they can be wonderful companions and emotional supports
- Explore the possibilities of herbal remedies and supplements if you are feeling tired, depressed or anxious. Discuss this with a naturopath or nutritionist – do not self diagnose and prescribe.
- Do not keep your situation a secret – tell family members and neighbors what is happening to you, even if you risk their disapproval and advice. These are the people that will be able to identify when things seem out-of-the-ordinary, and they may be the ones who will come to your aid when you are not able to help yourself.
- If you feel in a great deal of danger you can consider moving somewhere else and starting over, ensuring that your new address and phone number are known by very few people, and only those you can trust. This may not be a practical solution for many people, and does not guarantee that you will not be found by someone who really wants to find you.
- Carefully document your Safety Plan, and regularly check it and update it. Knowing all the measures you take to ensure yours and your children’s safety is very reassuring.
- Listen to your instincts and intuitions. Trust and believe in yourself.
This information is compliments of Northern Society for Domestic Peace